This was a letter that I never had the guts to send to my school’s director, I’m sorry for being a coward, but I decided to share it to the world anyway.
I am writing this letter for two reasons: one, to appreciate the management for properly punishing the two students for their embarrassing misconduct yesterday. Making the students involved to see their moral inadequacies was a job well done.
My second reason is however the most important reason for this letter. It is about the lopsidedness of the verbal castigation given to both students; though they got the same punishment, it was obvious from your pep talk that they were of different gender, and the one who should bear the most brunt is the girl. When you said, (permit me to rephrase) “…the boy has nothing to lose as he will still go on with his schooling…” I felt the scales getting tilted here. I do not intend to be a pedant but, sir, this is exactly where the society has got it wrong in training the boy and girl child.
Permit me to give you a review of the reactions of the students after the meeting you had with us . While the boy had the ‘face’ to come into the class while lecture was going on, the girl could not. It seems she was the most embarrassed, and this is mainly because her identity as a girl carries the label, ‘to be untainted, shy and pure, like a lamb’, but considering what has happened, she has failed. However, the boy could still joke a little among friends simply because his own identity carries a different and in fact conflicting tag, ‘ macho, sexually virile, rebellious’
I have witnessed this sort of situation many times in the past, and I’ve always felt bad for the unequal judgements people (male and female) give. The girl is made to feel like a whore, the boy gets respect for being a bad egg.
I always say that boys should be trained as humans (not beasts), who would maintain their dignity, keep their bodies with pride. They should not be treated as rock hard monsters that do not have emotions as this is the main reason why we have rapists littering the streets, looking for whom to ‘eat, kill and destroy’.
When we grow girls as soft, fragile things, and boys as foxy, stubborn men, how on earth do you expect the fragile ones to stay unbroken? Boys should be should be told that they also have something to lose, even after moving on in life and stunting the growth of someone else’s daughter. Let them know that STDs are real and Karma has a great memory.
Once again, I applaud the measures taken by the school to discourage immoral behaviour among students. However, I hope I have been able to convince you that there is no wrong in making boys feel like cute little bunnies at times. If girls are treated as precious jewels, boys should not be made to feel like wolves.
Though I’ve added and subtracted from the original script, it is pretty much the same message . The scenario was about a guy and a girl, my classmates: the school got a video about the two of them in a very bad position, alone in the class. It is a faith based school, and so you understand the gravity of that. The Director addressed us after the implicating clip was shown, but his verdict basically said: the boy was wrong but the girl was wrong and cheap, and as earlier said the scales were tilted. I’ll like to borrow the words of my mentor Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘We should all be feminist’, it should not be a girl thing to be dignified, boys should learn to respect their bodies too.
I rest my case.